Morning sun greets me as I step onto the porch, bright, clear, and – at least for now – calm. My heart rejoices in the beauty of the morning and I am so thankful to be home! Late spring and early summer is a busy time for me as I travel quite a bit during this time. Just in the past month I’ve been to Arlington, Houston, and San Angelo. Although I enjoy meeting new people and catching up with old friends, I find I desperately miss my morning walks – or perhaps I should say morning strolls lest anyone think they in some way involve physical exercise.
As I leisurely stroll about my yard and property, I always find some evidence of beauty and today is no different. Despite the long drought that parches the land and leaves fissures in my yard as wide as my fingers, in a few watered and sheltered beds roses and hollyhocks bloom in defiance to the drying winds. As I examine their beauty, I find my heart overflows with indescribable joy. It isn’t the roses that bring such great happiness, they are merely a gift – a reflection of the one in whom my heart delights. These are those quiet, cup-filling moments that my soul so desperately needs during this busy season. Those long, quiet, morning talks when I find delight in all of His gifts because my soul so delights in Him whom I love.
It’s not that I can’t find this great joy outside my home, I have found great joy and the same delight I find in solitude in many places – including the hectic freeway of Houston – because He is there when I seek Him. But as my gaze once again travels out across the dry pastures and to the dusty fields beyond, I am reminded of those times when my heart has longed for God as the land now longs for rain.
Sometimes my soul is dry and my heart’s longing for joy and delight is unfulfilled because I cling to things which are shallow and empty and bring no real joy – bitterness, anger, disappointment – holding them close because my wounded heart deserves such things. I am like a child who wants a piece of candy and doesn’t see that real satisfaction and even satisfying sweetness for his hunger lies in the feast of good food set before him, but he must let go of the candy and set down at the feast to eat and be filled.
Other times, especially during busy seasons in my life, my heart longs for God because fatigue and just busyness have left me with only taste or a sip of the richness of His fellowship and so my soul is left unsatisfied and longing – as a child who desperately misses hearth and home. However, although my heart may feel empty there is still something sweet and soothing in the longing because like the child, I know that home and family really exists and that I will once again taste and be filled with His goodness.